# Stop Asking for Feedback  URL:: https://hbr.org/2020/11/stop-asking-for-feedback Author:: Amantha Imber ## Highlights > For women in particular, feedback can be unhelpful. One study conducted by professors Shelley Correll and Caroline Simard at Standard University analyzed over 200 performance reviews across three high-tech companies and a professional services firm. It found that, compared to men, [women received feedback that was less likely to be tied to business outcomes](https://hbr.org/2016/04/research-vague-feedback-is-holding-women-back) and was also more vague and challenging to implement. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4jww00b5nqkgp6m9gxryh)) > Why is feedback so ineffective? The main reason is because — true to its name — it is [backward-looking](https://www.gartner.com/smarterwithgartner/motivate-employees-with-ongoing-forward-looking-feedback/). When someone gives you feedback, they’re anchoring themselves in the bygones and reflecting on your past behavior (the annual performance appraisal, the sales quarter that just passed, or the presentation you wrapped up). This makes it harder for you to focus on the future, because all you’ll hear about is how you screwed up or what didn’t go right, not how you should perform going forward. For this reason, feedback tends to be less actionable. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4k19trmcw466kyytsyrbq)) > **Be specific in the type of advice you are seeking.** ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4n5nhkryj4fbws2sm5691)) > Ask yourself, “What will really help me get better at [problem]?” For example, instead of asking, “What do you think of my revenue numbers from last quarter?” you could say, “So far, I’ve tried [a] and [b] but I haven’t been able to meet my goal. How would you have gone about doing this?” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4mytmg1tnxv1rfm162wp6)) > **Show them the way.** ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4n7mx6zxack5m7pry2r3k)) > Give a little nudge. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4n9h82127rwp49rssw2qh)) > If someone gives you vague feedback such as “You did great” or “You could do better,” don’t just stop the conversation there. Prod further and extract the advice you need. You could say, “What specifically did I do well?” or “What is one thing I can do better next time?” Probing will ensure the conversation is useful and one that actually helps you improve in the future. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4mkxhwck3nhjkf0xbk80c)) > **Ask the right person.** ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4nb7mxk2w8e1mwfs1h6g5)) --- Title: Stop Asking for Feedback Author: Amantha Imber Tags: readwise, articles date: 2024-01-30 --- # Stop Asking for Feedback  URL:: https://hbr.org/2020/11/stop-asking-for-feedback Author:: Amantha Imber ## AI-Generated Summary Start asking for advice instead. ## Highlights > For women in particular, feedback can be unhelpful. One study conducted by professors Shelley Correll and Caroline Simard at Standard University analyzed over 200 performance reviews across three high-tech companies and a professional services firm. It found that, compared to men, [women received feedback that was less likely to be tied to business outcomes](https://hbr.org/2016/04/research-vague-feedback-is-holding-women-back) and was also more vague and challenging to implement. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4jww00b5nqkgp6m9gxryh)) > Why is feedback so ineffective? The main reason is because — true to its name — it is [backward-looking](https://www.gartner.com/smarterwithgartner/motivate-employees-with-ongoing-forward-looking-feedback/). When someone gives you feedback, they’re anchoring themselves in the bygones and reflecting on your past behavior (the annual performance appraisal, the sales quarter that just passed, or the presentation you wrapped up). This makes it harder for you to focus on the future, because all you’ll hear about is how you screwed up or what didn’t go right, not how you should perform going forward. For this reason, feedback tends to be less actionable. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4k19trmcw466kyytsyrbq)) > **Be specific in the type of advice you are seeking.** ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4n5nhkryj4fbws2sm5691)) > Ask yourself, “What will really help me get better at [problem]?” For example, instead of asking, “What do you think of my revenue numbers from last quarter?” you could say, “So far, I’ve tried [a] and [b] but I haven’t been able to meet my goal. How would you have gone about doing this?” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4mytmg1tnxv1rfm162wp6)) > **Show them the way.** ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4n7mx6zxack5m7pry2r3k)) > Give a little nudge. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4n9h82127rwp49rssw2qh)) > If someone gives you vague feedback such as “You did great” or “You could do better,” don’t just stop the conversation there. Prod further and extract the advice you need. You could say, “What specifically did I do well?” or “What is one thing I can do better next time?” Probing will ensure the conversation is useful and one that actually helps you improve in the future. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4mkxhwck3nhjkf0xbk80c)) > **Ask the right person.** ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01fsy4nb7mxk2w8e1mwfs1h6g5))