# Sexuality in Role-Playing Games  Author:: Ashley ML Brown ## Highlights ### 1 Finding the Erotic in Role-Play > any type of role-play has the potential to become erotic. ([Location 105](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=105)) > It is predominately used to reflect a participant-defined activity that involves the incorporation of sexual or erotic content into pre-existing role-play scenarios in digital or tabletop role-playing games. These games exist independently of the erotic content taking place. By this I mean that although probably the highlight of many players’ in-game experience, they do not play the game solely for the purposes of ERP. This is perhaps the strongest way in which erotic role-play differs from other variants of sexual play such as dress up. Although an enjoyable aspect of the play experience to be sure, participants had other role-play and game goals they focused on in addition to erotic ones. From engaging in complex and demanding dungeon raids to politically manipulating non-player characters to fighting giant, scary werewolves, each of the players in this study participated in and enjoyed other aspects of the games they played. ([Location 109](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=109)) > The costumes found year-round in adult shops are often thematically similar to those found around Halloween. The costumes often centre on roles or occupations that deliberately provoke a power dynamic, e.g. speeding driver and police officer, housekeeper and homeowner, nurse and doctor, student and teacher. ([Location 160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=160)) > In the case of BDSM and costumed sex, explicit or implicit rules govern the erotic play taking place that ‘prohibit more efficient’ means of having sex in favour of ‘less efficient’ means that increase the enjoyment of the activity. Such rules might encourage participants to remain talking and acting as their chosen role for the duration, or such rules might seek to prohibit sexual gratification for as long as possible so as to increase the enjoyment and duration of the act. Either way, scholars such as Harviainen argue through the presence of rules that sexual activities involving role-play are not only ludic but can also be considered a game. ([Location 177](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=177)) ### 2 Sex, Games, and Sex Games > Interestingly enough, many philosophical definitions of play and games use sex as an example to define the boundaries of what may be considered ludic. ([Location 303](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=303)) > Like Bataille, although not as explicit, Caillois recognises play’s power to transform ordinarily mysterious or secret topics and activities into playful ones. Caillois also notes, however, the very act of making them playful expends all that is secret or mysterious about the topics or activities. To play with sex, which is arguably secret and mysterious, is to expend the secrecy and mystery of the act. ([Location 322](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=322)) > Sex is the last great preserve of adult play, where even the dourest pillars of our community are permitted to whisper sweet nothings. If I were to urge you to do but one thing in trying to improve your sex life, it would be: don’t turn it into work. (Betcher 1987, p. 111) ([Location 349](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=349)) > In this sense, bounded space is metaphor that encompasses both the idea of the alternate realities entered into during play as well as play’s separation from normative ethical subject-constitution. ([Location 360](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=360)) > The primary way games are distinguished from play is through the use of rules. Whilst play can be, and often is, a free-form activity, games are bound by rules. ([Location 367](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=367)) > Rather than understanding erotic role-play as a virtual environment in which any sexual behaviour is allowed, rules exist to shape behaviour and make it ludic. ([Location 392](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=392)) > Goffman notes that while “bitinglike behaviour occurs, no one is seriously bitten” (1974, p. 41). It is in this observation of the transformation of outward gestures of a behaviour associated with fighting in the primary framework that another framework is required to account for the interpretation of the actions as not serious or playful. By keying ‘bitinglike’ actions as playful, play itself is abstracted from the framework of routine behaviour and placed in a different category. Just as violent acts, which may ordinarily be at conflict with an individual’s conception of an ethical self are excused when keyed as playful, so too might sexual acts. The keying of a situation as playful and the ensuing shift of frames plant playful acts within alternate perceptions and alternate realities, which allow for it to be read within alternate subjectivities. This is particularly true if the keyed act adheres to the ethical codes present in alternate realities. ([Location 416](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=416)) > Markus Montola (2008) uses the term ‘diegetic’ to help summarise the ideas present in the tertiary framework and to encompass the storytelling elements present in role-playing. Montola additionally combined existing theory and summarised the frames experienced by role-players during play. In Montola’s combination, three types of rules emerge, exogenous, endogenous, and diegetic. He illustrates each in the following: “Do not discuss non-game business during the game”: exogenous. “A sword does d10 points of damage”: endogenous. “Carrying a sword within the city limits is punishable by fine”: diegetic. (Montola 2008, p. 23) ([Location 441](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=441)) > Diegetic rules and the diegetic frame are of particular importance in understanding erotic role-play as opening sexuality to play as it simultaneously provides limitations to character actions through discourse. Within such rules, that which is undesirable or indefensible within the normative ethics of reality can be engaged with through the employment of a game world’s discourse. Within the diegetic, players are distanced, but not removed completely, from their own primary frameworks that dictate the normative sexual ethics that affect their everyday lives and sense of self. This slight distance, combined with the frivolous nature of play, theoretically causes the game-space to become an environment of manageable risk for the players to experiment with activities that would be considered in conflict with the ethical self in their primary framework. ([Location 471](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=471)) > Discourse can generally be defined as the language of institutional power. Sexual discourse, then, constitutes the ways in which sex and sexuality are spoken about, not only in terms of context and content but also who does the speaking and where. ([Location 537](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=537)) > As Foucault writes, discourse has the power to influence behaviour and control ‘everyday pleasure.’ Discourse provides the ethical, legal, and religious codes through which individuals develop their ethical sense of self and come to view themselves as ethical beings in their relationships to others. ([Location 548](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=548)) > in the virtual game world, discourse takes the form of rules. ([Location 551](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=551)) > Rules become a type of ethical code, dictating which actions are possible, if not socially acceptable, within a game world setting. ([Location 553](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=553)) #### Problematic Sexual Content in Games > As previously discussed, the relationship between sex and games is full of tension. This is partially due to the already highlighted cultural prejudice that suggests games and playful activities are intended for children and not adults. When a behaviour normally coded as adult, such as sex or violence, becomes available for play, problems arise. ([Location 613](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=613)) ### 3 Erotic Role-Players #### Player Motivations > Aside from the claim it is fun, which is an important claim but one that achieves an analytical dead end as many other games and hobbies that are less resource-consuming are likely also fun, it is worth exploring what past research has found about what motivates players to undertake such an activity. Unfortunately, no past research addresses the motivations for erotic role-play directly. ([Location 759](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=759)) > Fine has found tabletop role-players can be characterised as ‘nonconformists’ (Fine 1983). ([Location 781](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=781)) > Fine breaks down the explanations given by his participants into four themes: educational gains, escapism, personal control or efficacy, and aids for social interaction (1983, p. 53). ([Location 800](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=800)) > Players in his study discussed RPGs as an escape from two related components: constructions of the self and restrictions on behaviour. ([Location 812](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=812)) > only after months of playing within such a group did he learn players’ surnames. In a combination of observations and interviews, Fine attributes his and other players’ experiences as a form of escaping their real self. He attributes the lack of exchanged personal information as a result of role-playing. ([Location 814](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=814)) > Fine discovered some tabletop role-players viewed role-playing as a “testing of boundaries, [which enabled] players to learn about themselves in situations of controlled danger” (1983, p. 58). ([Location 832](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=832)) > In addition to escapism, previous research has found immersion to be a key motivation to role-play (Williams, Kennedy, and Moore 2010). ([Location 882](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=882)) > They noted some players chose to role-play characters with flirty personalities and for these players, such personality experimentation bled over into their offline behaviours. This has important connotations for erotic role-play as it suggests character behaviours, such as flirting, may cross over from the game world into the daily lives and behaviours of participants. ([Location 892](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=892)) #### Player Demographics > In a large study of 6,675 players spanning over three years and multiple MMORPGs, Nick Yee found eighty-five percent of players were male and the average age of respondents was 26.5 years (2006). ([Location 945](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=945)) > From their research, it was found dedicated role-players, those that preferred to remain in-character at all times, represented only five percent of MMORPG players overall (Williams, Kennedy, and Moore 2010, p. 108). Additionally, they found that compared to infrequent role-players, dedicated role-players tended to be slightly younger (28.55 years compared to 30.55 years), have more women players (twenty-five percent), be slightly less educated, and be from a sexual, religious, or racial minority (2010, p. 183). The study additionally found a direct correlation between the amount of time spent role-playing and the likelihood of a player having been clinically diagnosed with physical or mental problems (Williams, Kennedy, and Moore 2010, p. 108). ([Location 953](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=953)) #### The Methodology of Getting to Know Erotic Role-Players > Research question: What are the crossover effects from sexual play in the game world to sexual play in a player’s everyday life? Focus group questions: Do you have a partner in real life? How do they feel about your erotic role-playing in the game? Do you think it affects your relationship? ([Location 1149](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1149)) > I had initially decided to limit how much of my personal views emerged by refusing to answer personal questions until the interview or focus group had finished. What I discovered, however, was that participants were actually much more eager to share their experiences after I had shared my own. ([Location 1260](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1260)) > 4 Multiple Frames ([Location 1363](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1363)) > MEGAN Besides, if we were to have another person join us in bed, we’d probably have to clean up the apartment. And I figure, if a threesome can’t get me to clean the apartment, I probably don’t want it that bad. ([Location 1435](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1435)) > Playing multiple characters with multiple sexual preferences allows for a greater chance at successfully finding an available erotic role-play partner. ([Location 1601](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1601)) > Caillois (1961) describes play as an activity that seeks to expose, publish, and expend secrets and mysteries. Therefore to play with erotic themes outside normal performance is to expose the self to the vulnerability that might result. Games, as a bounded space in which actions are considered to be frivolous and not serious, create a space wherein such vulnerabilities can be managed. ([Location 1703](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1703)) > From the primary social frame, players enter erotic role-play with an understanding of social acceptability. The understanding of what is and is not acceptable, however, is partially discarded once the player enters the frame of game and of the diegetic reality of their character. ([Location 1823](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1823)) > Well, it’s similar to why people role-play in the bedroom. The ordinary can become tedious, and erotic role-play itself is no different. ([Location 1834](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1834)) > the femininity of elves has often made them the most heavily sexualised fantasy race, sexual acts involving elves are never fully realised in standard fantasy games and literature due to the genre’s orientation to child-appropriate themes. ([Location 1903](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1903)) #### Conclusion > I interpreted the participants’ responses from this and previous sections as indicative of play’s ability to distance diegetic actions from the self. This helped to show non-normative expressions of gender and sexuality are able to come through erotic role-play because of the environment of manageable risks play provides. ([Location 1941](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1941)) > erotic role-play offers non-normative ways to experience sexuality through its fantasy setting. The ways in which participants used the fantasy setting, along with the ludic elements of the game, were then interpreted as providing a different form of discourse and normativity to those present in the standard fantasy genre. ([Location 1947](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1947)) ### 5 The Role of Rules #### Focus-Group Data #### Focus-Group Data > In using role-play settings and rules to restructure the performance of sexuality and gender in a way that questions ethics, morality, and even embraces evil, the participants are moving beyond the modern ethical substance in a way anticipated by Foucault. Dan comments the game’s rules and text create a ‘playground’ for playing with such ‘evil’ concepts, which reflects an acknowledged separation from the primary social framework. Rather than address concerns over a perceived legitimation of such evil acts outside the game, the focus group makes clear such rules include subversive sexual content on a game level2. ([Location 2147](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2147)) > In using role-play settings and rules to restructure the performance of sexuality and gender in a way that questions ethics, morality, and even embraces evil, the participants are moving beyond the modern ethical substance in a way anticipated by Foucault. Dan comments the game’s rules and text create a ‘playground’ for playing with such ‘evil’ concepts, which reflects an acknowledged separation from the primary social framework. Rather than address concerns over a perceived legitimation of such evil acts outside the game, the focus group makes clear such rules include subversive sexual content on a game level2. ([Location 2147](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2147)) > When studying a LARP entitled Gang Rape, in which participants take turns playing the roles of victim and rapist, Markus Montola (2010) found players enjoyed such extreme games because of the intense feelings and emotions they provoked. ([Location 2212](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2212)) > When studying a LARP entitled Gang Rape, in which participants take turns playing the roles of victim and rapist, Markus Montola (2010) found players enjoyed such extreme games because of the intense feelings and emotions they provoked. ([Location 2212](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2212)) > some types of extreme content make role-play memorable and a valuable experience (Montola 2010). ([Location 2232](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2232)) > some types of extreme content make role-play memorable and a valuable experience (Montola 2010). ([Location 2232](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2232)) > Here a crucial split in values is made between intense role-play for the sake of role-play versus for the sake of sexual gratification. ([Location 2234](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2234)) > Here a crucial split in values is made between intense role-play for the sake of role-play versus for the sake of sexual gratification. ([Location 2234](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2234)) #### World of Warcraft's Rules #### World of Warcraft's Rules > As Foucault reminds us, “silence itself – the things one declines to say, or is forbidden to name, the discretion that is required between different speakers – is less the absolute limit of discourse … than an element that functions alongside the things said” (1978, p. 27). Through banning sexually explicit language, Blizzard has contributed to a discourse of sexuality in World of Warcraft that obliges erotic role-players to be mindful that conventional linguistic manifestations of sex are actively prohibited within some parts of the game’s architecture. In response, erotic role-players have developed tactics that evade Blizzard’s imposed silence. ([Location 2297](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2297)) > As Foucault reminds us, “silence itself – the things one declines to say, or is forbidden to name, the discretion that is required between different speakers – is less the absolute limit of discourse … than an element that functions alongside the things said” (1978, p. 27). Through banning sexually explicit language, Blizzard has contributed to a discourse of sexuality in World of Warcraft that obliges erotic role-players to be mindful that conventional linguistic manifestations of sex are actively prohibited within some parts of the game’s architecture. In response, erotic role-players have developed tactics that evade Blizzard’s imposed silence. ([Location 2297](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2297)) #### World of Warcraft and Guild Rules > certain rules were included as exogenous house rules to help keep erotic content focused on diegetic character interactions. This focus is central in separating erotic role-play from cybersex ([Location 2456](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2456)) #### World of Warcraft and Individual Rules > Nah … it’s more like … no one-handed typing. Save it for after XD, or try to put as many details into the ERP as the other person is doing. It’s always rude to be in the middle of a session … just sitting there and wait 20 minutes or I’ve even had the person sign off in the middle and have the person come back and be like … “Oh man that was great I just jacked off. …” That’s rude. ([Location 2476](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2476)) > Penpy’s decision to ‘collar’ his flirtatious nature and keep out-of-character contact to a minimum reflects several of the themes in this chapter. First, while non-normative sexual themes may be played with in the game, the rule of limiting erotic content to characters prevents it from crossing over into players’ lives. ([Location 2511](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2511)) > Importantly, in comparison to the tabletop group, these responses show how a lack of official rules supporting the inclusion of sexual content leads players to create their own in an effort to manage, in Foucault’s terms, their care of the self. In order to limit the sexual mysteries being explored, Greenhat and Penpy both created and employed rules to limit their experiences to the diegetic realm and, in Penpy’s case, to manage the multiple sexual economies he is subjected to when erotic role-playing. In doing so, they have illustrated the steps taken to ensure erotic role-play remains a safe space to experience themes vicariously through characters by showing the discomfort caused when ERP moves out-of-character and into the primary social frame. ([Location 2530](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2530)) #### Conclusion > Be the goal character development, diegetic realness, enhancement of a plot, or silly fun with friends, the official and player-created rules of erotic role-play structure it as part of a game through the importance placed on the activity’s functionality within gaming systems. Rather than have an end goal of physical sexual pleasure, as might be assumed of Sutton-Smith’s adult play or cybersex, the goals of erotic role-play always reference back to the larger goals of role-playing games. By thinking about erotic role-play as part of a game, rather than just behaviour or play, insight is provided into the kinds of meanings attributed to the activity by its players: that it largely exists and remains within the diegetic frame. Keeping the power of rules to structure play in mind, the following chapter will continue the exploration into how erotic role-players contribute meanings to their play by focusing on the out-of-character relationships that develop. ([Location 2577](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2577)) ### 6 ERP IRL > From fieldwork, I learned that good role-players and erotic role-players are able to separate their own sexual desire from their characters and manage the effects of crossover. ([Location 2626](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2626)) > Central to this demonstration is the idea that all pleasure, even in real sex, is derived through an interaction of body and mind. ([Location 2628](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2628)) > In erotic role-play, the switching of frames involved in the activity can be psychologically difficult to manage, challenges are raised for monogamy, and there is potential for players’ out-of-character emotions to become involved. To help manage these risks, players employed humour and mutual surveillance as management strategies. ([Location 2645](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2645)) > All participants discussed building platonic friendships with their erotic role-play partner(s). Through observed gift exchanges and interview data about communication outside the game, this section argues friendships that develop through erotic role-play are similar to friendships that develop from any other hobby. The presence of erotic content seems to factor little in the nature or development of the friendships. ([Location 2655](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2655)) #### Multiple Pleasures > Perhaps most similar to the tabletop group’s method of orally articulating erotic scenes, the change in the media used by Dirty and his partners can be read as a partial relinquishing of anonymity. This further conflates the stereotypical expectation that the anonymity afforded by ERPing online lends itself more easily to playing with sexuality for the sake of carnal pleasure. In using their voice to describe the actions of their characters, the players released some information about themselves such as perceived gender and age and accents. ([Location 2774](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2774)) #### Strategies > humour and mutual surveillance emerged from interview data and observations as being strategies to minimise the risks to the self that may crossover from the virtual world and into the real. ([Location 2789](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2789)) > humour emerges as a strategy to minimise the risk of embarrassment when discussing sexual themes. ([Location 2792](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2792)) > By laughing at the sexuality as it is portrayed, any perceived threats to the players’ sense of sexual ethics outside the game world can be managed. In this case, humour additionally functioned as a type of mutual surveillance. ([Location 2806](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2806)) > For the couples, erotic role-play served a function similar to foreplay. ([Location 2847](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2847)) #### Friendships > Although characters sent each other gifts in the game, the majority of gifts exchanged between players were non-material. ([Location 2955](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2955)) > Rather than focus solely on sex, carnal pleasures, and the development of romantic relationships, the friendship-building strategies employed by erotic role-players have been found to be similar to any other hobbyist group. Although participants met their ERP partners under erotic conditions, auxiliary communication took place outside the game world and outside erotic pretences. ([Location 3080](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=3080)) #### Conclusion ### 7 The Future of Erotic Role-Play > The diegetic framework combined with play’s silliness and frivolity allow the difficult, uncomfortable, or embarrassing aspects of discussing or exploring sexuality to become manageable. In erotic role-playing through a character, participants were afforded both a level of distance from their primary social frame, through temporarily inhabiting a character and performing actions through that character, and recourse to claim any unfavourable or non-normative actions were done playfully or in jest. ([Location 3160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=3160)) > The other tabletop players supported Dan’s comments and noted that for sexual content to be present in a game, there must be a reason and purpose relating directly to the game’s setting and objectives. It is in this way that rules were seen as both encouraging and limiting erotic role-play. ([Location 3177](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=3177)) #### Overturned Stereotypes #### The Future --- Title: Sexuality in Role-Playing Games Author: Ashley ML Brown Tags: readwise, books date: 2024-01-30 --- # Sexuality in Role-Playing Games  Author:: Ashley ML Brown ## AI-Generated Summary None ## Highlights ### 1 Finding the Erotic in Role-Play > any type of role-play has the potential to become erotic. ([Location 105](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=105)) > It is predominately used to reflect a participant-defined activity that involves the incorporation of sexual or erotic content into pre-existing role-play scenarios in digital or tabletop role-playing games. These games exist independently of the erotic content taking place. By this I mean that although probably the highlight of many players’ in-game experience, they do not play the game solely for the purposes of ERP. This is perhaps the strongest way in which erotic role-play differs from other variants of sexual play such as dress up. Although an enjoyable aspect of the play experience to be sure, participants had other role-play and game goals they focused on in addition to erotic ones. From engaging in complex and demanding dungeon raids to politically manipulating non-player characters to fighting giant, scary werewolves, each of the players in this study participated in and enjoyed other aspects of the games they played. ([Location 109](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=109)) > The costumes found year-round in adult shops are often thematically similar to those found around Halloween. The costumes often centre on roles or occupations that deliberately provoke a power dynamic, e.g. speeding driver and police officer, housekeeper and homeowner, nurse and doctor, student and teacher. ([Location 160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=160)) > In the case of BDSM and costumed sex, explicit or implicit rules govern the erotic play taking place that ‘prohibit more efficient’ means of having sex in favour of ‘less efficient’ means that increase the enjoyment of the activity. Such rules might encourage participants to remain talking and acting as their chosen role for the duration, or such rules might seek to prohibit sexual gratification for as long as possible so as to increase the enjoyment and duration of the act. Either way, scholars such as Harviainen argue through the presence of rules that sexual activities involving role-play are not only ludic but can also be considered a game. ([Location 177](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=177)) ### 2 Sex, Games, and Sex Games > Interestingly enough, many philosophical definitions of play and games use sex as an example to define the boundaries of what may be considered ludic. ([Location 303](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=303)) > Like Bataille, although not as explicit, Caillois recognises play’s power to transform ordinarily mysterious or secret topics and activities into playful ones. Caillois also notes, however, the very act of making them playful expends all that is secret or mysterious about the topics or activities. To play with sex, which is arguably secret and mysterious, is to expend the secrecy and mystery of the act. ([Location 322](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=322)) > Sex is the last great preserve of adult play, where even the dourest pillars of our community are permitted to whisper sweet nothings. If I were to urge you to do but one thing in trying to improve your sex life, it would be: don’t turn it into work. (Betcher 1987, p. 111) ([Location 349](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=349)) > In this sense, bounded space is metaphor that encompasses both the idea of the alternate realities entered into during play as well as play’s separation from normative ethical subject-constitution. ([Location 360](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=360)) > The primary way games are distinguished from play is through the use of rules. Whilst play can be, and often is, a free-form activity, games are bound by rules. ([Location 367](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=367)) > Rather than understanding erotic role-play as a virtual environment in which any sexual behaviour is allowed, rules exist to shape behaviour and make it ludic. ([Location 392](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=392)) > Goffman notes that while “bitinglike behaviour occurs, no one is seriously bitten” (1974, p. 41). It is in this observation of the transformation of outward gestures of a behaviour associated with fighting in the primary framework that another framework is required to account for the interpretation of the actions as not serious or playful. By keying ‘bitinglike’ actions as playful, play itself is abstracted from the framework of routine behaviour and placed in a different category. Just as violent acts, which may ordinarily be at conflict with an individual’s conception of an ethical self are excused when keyed as playful, so too might sexual acts. The keying of a situation as playful and the ensuing shift of frames plant playful acts within alternate perceptions and alternate realities, which allow for it to be read within alternate subjectivities. This is particularly true if the keyed act adheres to the ethical codes present in alternate realities. ([Location 416](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=416)) > Markus Montola (2008) uses the term ‘diegetic’ to help summarise the ideas present in the tertiary framework and to encompass the storytelling elements present in role-playing. Montola additionally combined existing theory and summarised the frames experienced by role-players during play. In Montola’s combination, three types of rules emerge, exogenous, endogenous, and diegetic. He illustrates each in the following: “Do not discuss non-game business during the game”: exogenous. “A sword does d10 points of damage”: endogenous. “Carrying a sword within the city limits is punishable by fine”: diegetic. (Montola 2008, p. 23) ([Location 441](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=441)) > Diegetic rules and the diegetic frame are of particular importance in understanding erotic role-play as opening sexuality to play as it simultaneously provides limitations to character actions through discourse. Within such rules, that which is undesirable or indefensible within the normative ethics of reality can be engaged with through the employment of a game world’s discourse. Within the diegetic, players are distanced, but not removed completely, from their own primary frameworks that dictate the normative sexual ethics that affect their everyday lives and sense of self. This slight distance, combined with the frivolous nature of play, theoretically causes the game-space to become an environment of manageable risk for the players to experiment with activities that would be considered in conflict with the ethical self in their primary framework. ([Location 471](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=471)) > Discourse can generally be defined as the language of institutional power. Sexual discourse, then, constitutes the ways in which sex and sexuality are spoken about, not only in terms of context and content but also who does the speaking and where. ([Location 537](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=537)) > As Foucault writes, discourse has the power to influence behaviour and control ‘everyday pleasure.’ Discourse provides the ethical, legal, and religious codes through which individuals develop their ethical sense of self and come to view themselves as ethical beings in their relationships to others. ([Location 548](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=548)) > in the virtual game world, discourse takes the form of rules. ([Location 551](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=551)) > Rules become a type of ethical code, dictating which actions are possible, if not socially acceptable, within a game world setting. ([Location 553](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=553)) #### Problematic Sexual Content in Games > As previously discussed, the relationship between sex and games is full of tension. This is partially due to the already highlighted cultural prejudice that suggests games and playful activities are intended for children and not adults. When a behaviour normally coded as adult, such as sex or violence, becomes available for play, problems arise. ([Location 613](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=613)) ### 3 Erotic Role-Players #### Player Motivations > Aside from the claim it is fun, which is an important claim but one that achieves an analytical dead end as many other games and hobbies that are less resource-consuming are likely also fun, it is worth exploring what past research has found about what motivates players to undertake such an activity. Unfortunately, no past research addresses the motivations for erotic role-play directly. ([Location 759](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=759)) > Fine has found tabletop role-players can be characterised as ‘nonconformists’ (Fine 1983). ([Location 781](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=781)) > Fine breaks down the explanations given by his participants into four themes: educational gains, escapism, personal control or efficacy, and aids for social interaction (1983, p. 53). ([Location 800](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=800)) > Players in his study discussed RPGs as an escape from two related components: constructions of the self and restrictions on behaviour. ([Location 812](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=812)) > only after months of playing within such a group did he learn players’ surnames. In a combination of observations and interviews, Fine attributes his and other players’ experiences as a form of escaping their real self. He attributes the lack of exchanged personal information as a result of role-playing. ([Location 814](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=814)) > Fine discovered some tabletop role-players viewed role-playing as a “testing of boundaries, [which enabled] players to learn about themselves in situations of controlled danger” (1983, p. 58). ([Location 832](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=832)) > In addition to escapism, previous research has found immersion to be a key motivation to role-play (Williams, Kennedy, and Moore 2010). ([Location 882](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=882)) > They noted some players chose to role-play characters with flirty personalities and for these players, such personality experimentation bled over into their offline behaviours. This has important connotations for erotic role-play as it suggests character behaviours, such as flirting, may cross over from the game world into the daily lives and behaviours of participants. ([Location 892](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=892)) #### Player Demographics > In a large study of 6,675 players spanning over three years and multiple MMORPGs, Nick Yee found eighty-five percent of players were male and the average age of respondents was 26.5 years (2006). ([Location 945](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=945)) > From their research, it was found dedicated role-players, those that preferred to remain in-character at all times, represented only five percent of MMORPG players overall (Williams, Kennedy, and Moore 2010, p. 108). Additionally, they found that compared to infrequent role-players, dedicated role-players tended to be slightly younger (28.55 years compared to 30.55 years), have more women players (twenty-five percent), be slightly less educated, and be from a sexual, religious, or racial minority (2010, p. 183). The study additionally found a direct correlation between the amount of time spent role-playing and the likelihood of a player having been clinically diagnosed with physical or mental problems (Williams, Kennedy, and Moore 2010, p. 108). ([Location 953](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=953)) #### The Methodology of Getting to Know Erotic Role-Players > Research question: What are the crossover effects from sexual play in the game world to sexual play in a player’s everyday life? Focus group questions: Do you have a partner in real life? How do they feel about your erotic role-playing in the game? Do you think it affects your relationship? ([Location 1149](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1149)) > I had initially decided to limit how much of my personal views emerged by refusing to answer personal questions until the interview or focus group had finished. What I discovered, however, was that participants were actually much more eager to share their experiences after I had shared my own. ([Location 1260](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1260)) > 4 Multiple Frames ([Location 1363](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1363)) > MEGAN Besides, if we were to have another person join us in bed, we’d probably have to clean up the apartment. And I figure, if a threesome can’t get me to clean the apartment, I probably don’t want it that bad. ([Location 1435](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1435)) > Playing multiple characters with multiple sexual preferences allows for a greater chance at successfully finding an available erotic role-play partner. ([Location 1601](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1601)) > Caillois (1961) describes play as an activity that seeks to expose, publish, and expend secrets and mysteries. Therefore to play with erotic themes outside normal performance is to expose the self to the vulnerability that might result. Games, as a bounded space in which actions are considered to be frivolous and not serious, create a space wherein such vulnerabilities can be managed. ([Location 1703](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1703)) > From the primary social frame, players enter erotic role-play with an understanding of social acceptability. The understanding of what is and is not acceptable, however, is partially discarded once the player enters the frame of game and of the diegetic reality of their character. ([Location 1823](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1823)) > Well, it’s similar to why people role-play in the bedroom. The ordinary can become tedious, and erotic role-play itself is no different. ([Location 1834](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1834)) > the femininity of elves has often made them the most heavily sexualised fantasy race, sexual acts involving elves are never fully realised in standard fantasy games and literature due to the genre’s orientation to child-appropriate themes. ([Location 1903](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1903)) #### Conclusion > I interpreted the participants’ responses from this and previous sections as indicative of play’s ability to distance diegetic actions from the self. This helped to show non-normative expressions of gender and sexuality are able to come through erotic role-play because of the environment of manageable risks play provides. ([Location 1941](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1941)) > erotic role-play offers non-normative ways to experience sexuality through its fantasy setting. The ways in which participants used the fantasy setting, along with the ludic elements of the game, were then interpreted as providing a different form of discourse and normativity to those present in the standard fantasy genre. ([Location 1947](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=1947)) ### 5 The Role of Rules #### Focus-Group Data #### Focus-Group Data > In using role-play settings and rules to restructure the performance of sexuality and gender in a way that questions ethics, morality, and even embraces evil, the participants are moving beyond the modern ethical substance in a way anticipated by Foucault. Dan comments the game’s rules and text create a ‘playground’ for playing with such ‘evil’ concepts, which reflects an acknowledged separation from the primary social framework. Rather than address concerns over a perceived legitimation of such evil acts outside the game, the focus group makes clear such rules include subversive sexual content on a game level2. ([Location 2147](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2147)) > In using role-play settings and rules to restructure the performance of sexuality and gender in a way that questions ethics, morality, and even embraces evil, the participants are moving beyond the modern ethical substance in a way anticipated by Foucault. Dan comments the game’s rules and text create a ‘playground’ for playing with such ‘evil’ concepts, which reflects an acknowledged separation from the primary social framework. Rather than address concerns over a perceived legitimation of such evil acts outside the game, the focus group makes clear such rules include subversive sexual content on a game level2. ([Location 2147](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2147)) > When studying a LARP entitled Gang Rape, in which participants take turns playing the roles of victim and rapist, Markus Montola (2010) found players enjoyed such extreme games because of the intense feelings and emotions they provoked. ([Location 2212](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2212)) > When studying a LARP entitled Gang Rape, in which participants take turns playing the roles of victim and rapist, Markus Montola (2010) found players enjoyed such extreme games because of the intense feelings and emotions they provoked. ([Location 2212](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2212)) > some types of extreme content make role-play memorable and a valuable experience (Montola 2010). ([Location 2232](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2232)) > some types of extreme content make role-play memorable and a valuable experience (Montola 2010). ([Location 2232](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2232)) > Here a crucial split in values is made between intense role-play for the sake of role-play versus for the sake of sexual gratification. ([Location 2234](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2234)) > Here a crucial split in values is made between intense role-play for the sake of role-play versus for the sake of sexual gratification. ([Location 2234](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2234)) #### World of Warcraft's Rules #### World of Warcraft's Rules > As Foucault reminds us, “silence itself – the things one declines to say, or is forbidden to name, the discretion that is required between different speakers – is less the absolute limit of discourse … than an element that functions alongside the things said” (1978, p. 27). Through banning sexually explicit language, Blizzard has contributed to a discourse of sexuality in World of Warcraft that obliges erotic role-players to be mindful that conventional linguistic manifestations of sex are actively prohibited within some parts of the game’s architecture. In response, erotic role-players have developed tactics that evade Blizzard’s imposed silence. ([Location 2297](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2297)) > As Foucault reminds us, “silence itself – the things one declines to say, or is forbidden to name, the discretion that is required between different speakers – is less the absolute limit of discourse … than an element that functions alongside the things said” (1978, p. 27). Through banning sexually explicit language, Blizzard has contributed to a discourse of sexuality in World of Warcraft that obliges erotic role-players to be mindful that conventional linguistic manifestations of sex are actively prohibited within some parts of the game’s architecture. In response, erotic role-players have developed tactics that evade Blizzard’s imposed silence. ([Location 2297](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2297)) #### World of Warcraft and Guild Rules > certain rules were included as exogenous house rules to help keep erotic content focused on diegetic character interactions. This focus is central in separating erotic role-play from cybersex ([Location 2456](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2456)) #### World of Warcraft and Individual Rules > Nah … it’s more like … no one-handed typing. Save it for after XD, or try to put as many details into the ERP as the other person is doing. It’s always rude to be in the middle of a session … just sitting there and wait 20 minutes or I’ve even had the person sign off in the middle and have the person come back and be like … “Oh man that was great I just jacked off. …” That’s rude. ([Location 2476](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2476)) > Penpy’s decision to ‘collar’ his flirtatious nature and keep out-of-character contact to a minimum reflects several of the themes in this chapter. First, while non-normative sexual themes may be played with in the game, the rule of limiting erotic content to characters prevents it from crossing over into players’ lives. ([Location 2511](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2511)) > Importantly, in comparison to the tabletop group, these responses show how a lack of official rules supporting the inclusion of sexual content leads players to create their own in an effort to manage, in Foucault’s terms, their care of the self. In order to limit the sexual mysteries being explored, Greenhat and Penpy both created and employed rules to limit their experiences to the diegetic realm and, in Penpy’s case, to manage the multiple sexual economies he is subjected to when erotic role-playing. In doing so, they have illustrated the steps taken to ensure erotic role-play remains a safe space to experience themes vicariously through characters by showing the discomfort caused when ERP moves out-of-character and into the primary social frame. ([Location 2530](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2530)) #### Conclusion > Be the goal character development, diegetic realness, enhancement of a plot, or silly fun with friends, the official and player-created rules of erotic role-play structure it as part of a game through the importance placed on the activity’s functionality within gaming systems. Rather than have an end goal of physical sexual pleasure, as might be assumed of Sutton-Smith’s adult play or cybersex, the goals of erotic role-play always reference back to the larger goals of role-playing games. By thinking about erotic role-play as part of a game, rather than just behaviour or play, insight is provided into the kinds of meanings attributed to the activity by its players: that it largely exists and remains within the diegetic frame. Keeping the power of rules to structure play in mind, the following chapter will continue the exploration into how erotic role-players contribute meanings to their play by focusing on the out-of-character relationships that develop. ([Location 2577](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2577)) ### 6 ERP IRL > From fieldwork, I learned that good role-players and erotic role-players are able to separate their own sexual desire from their characters and manage the effects of crossover. ([Location 2626](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2626)) > Central to this demonstration is the idea that all pleasure, even in real sex, is derived through an interaction of body and mind. ([Location 2628](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2628)) > In erotic role-play, the switching of frames involved in the activity can be psychologically difficult to manage, challenges are raised for monogamy, and there is potential for players’ out-of-character emotions to become involved. To help manage these risks, players employed humour and mutual surveillance as management strategies. ([Location 2645](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2645)) > All participants discussed building platonic friendships with their erotic role-play partner(s). Through observed gift exchanges and interview data about communication outside the game, this section argues friendships that develop through erotic role-play are similar to friendships that develop from any other hobby. The presence of erotic content seems to factor little in the nature or development of the friendships. ([Location 2655](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2655)) #### Multiple Pleasures > Perhaps most similar to the tabletop group’s method of orally articulating erotic scenes, the change in the media used by Dirty and his partners can be read as a partial relinquishing of anonymity. This further conflates the stereotypical expectation that the anonymity afforded by ERPing online lends itself more easily to playing with sexuality for the sake of carnal pleasure. In using their voice to describe the actions of their characters, the players released some information about themselves such as perceived gender and age and accents. ([Location 2774](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2774)) #### Strategies > humour and mutual surveillance emerged from interview data and observations as being strategies to minimise the risks to the self that may crossover from the virtual world and into the real. ([Location 2789](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2789)) > humour emerges as a strategy to minimise the risk of embarrassment when discussing sexual themes. ([Location 2792](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2792)) > By laughing at the sexuality as it is portrayed, any perceived threats to the players’ sense of sexual ethics outside the game world can be managed. In this case, humour additionally functioned as a type of mutual surveillance. ([Location 2806](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2806)) > For the couples, erotic role-play served a function similar to foreplay. ([Location 2847](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2847)) #### Friendships > Although characters sent each other gifts in the game, the majority of gifts exchanged between players were non-material. ([Location 2955](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=2955)) > Rather than focus solely on sex, carnal pleasures, and the development of romantic relationships, the friendship-building strategies employed by erotic role-players have been found to be similar to any other hobbyist group. Although participants met their ERP partners under erotic conditions, auxiliary communication took place outside the game world and outside erotic pretences. ([Location 3080](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=3080)) #### Conclusion ### 7 The Future of Erotic Role-Play > The diegetic framework combined with play’s silliness and frivolity allow the difficult, uncomfortable, or embarrassing aspects of discussing or exploring sexuality to become manageable. In erotic role-playing through a character, participants were afforded both a level of distance from their primary social frame, through temporarily inhabiting a character and performing actions through that character, and recourse to claim any unfavourable or non-normative actions were done playfully or in jest. ([Location 3160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=3160)) > The other tabletop players supported Dan’s comments and noted that for sexual content to be present in a game, there must be a reason and purpose relating directly to the game’s setting and objectives. It is in this way that rules were seen as both encouraging and limiting erotic role-play. ([Location 3177](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0B69QDXXD&location=3177)) #### Overturned Stereotypes #### The Future