# 302 - A More Beautiful Question - Warren Berger  URL:: https://share.snipd.com/episode/f58118a3-f02d-41ef-afe9-a8c7965016c0 Author:: You Are Not So Smart  ## AI-Generated Summary None ## Highlights > **The 'Why' Question** > - The 'why' question is the ultimate tool for understanding. > - It's like a shovel, used for digging deeper into a topic. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > Why is, to me, it's the great understanding question. It's, it's the tool you use. It's like a shovel. You can use it to dig, right? > David McRaney > Again, that's Warren Berger, question expert. We're about to get to him. But first, let me sum up this introduction to this ([Time 0:10:34](https://share.snipd.com/snip/6286aec9-854e-4fe2-aebf-f328ede99bc6)) > **The Question Sandwich** > - Preface questions with "I'm curious" to soften their impact. > - Follow up the question with a rationale, explaining why you asked. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > Yeah, the question sandwich is, okay, so people often, when I go into companies and I talk to people working there, they often say to me, you know, I would like to question the way we're Doing things here. I would like to question some of the policies, but I'm afraid of how that's going to be received. You do is you add a rationale onto the end of the question. The question is now in the middle of a sandwich. The beginning of the sandwich is telling them you're curious. The end of the question is giving them your rationale and the question is in the middle. So for example, let's say if someone was going to challenge, was going to question a policy, they would say, you know, I'm curious about one of our policies. I'm wondering about something. Then they would say, why do we do this particular policy? And then they would end with, and the reason I ask is because, you know, sometimes this policy causes me to slow down in my work or it gets in the way of doing this or that. So now you've given them the rationale at the end. Now there's a solid reason why you asked this question. ([Time 0:14:43](https://share.snipd.com/snip/0f2de999-bdb7-4333-8eab-ad2b55f8e1b0)) > **Active Listening Tips** > - Ask "Why am I talking?" before interjecting. > - Ask "And what else?" to encourage deeper conversation. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > It came from a psychologist who, who, who came up with that W A I T, which stands for why am I talking? And so whenever you're about, interject, you should ask yourself the question, why am I talking right now? Especially if someone is in the middle of telling you something. We all want to rush in with either advice, you know, oh, you're telling me something, oh, I can tell you what you should do here. Or we want to top their story with our own story. Oh, you're telling a story about this. Oh, I've got a better story than that. You know, he was just saying, you know, always pause and ask yourself, is this the right time right now for me to be jumping in? And usually it's not. Usually you want to wait, wait a little bit. And, and, and that's the wait question. > David McRaney > As you're talking, I'm getting excited. And I wanted to show you all the little things that connect to what you're talking about. And in my mind, I'm commiserating in some way. I'm like, I've had that feeling. I've shared that. I want to talk. But then your sharing thing gets longer than the thing that they just, and all of a sudden. > Warren Berger > You know, what goes well with the weight question is the awe question, the AWE. And that's a really great question for people to use. It's simply the AWE stands for, and what else? So when you're talking to people about something, let's say an issue that they're dealing with, and they tell you, you know, I'm having a problem at work because of, you know, people Are not listening to me. And then you would ask, and what else? And then they'll say, well, the other issue that's bothering me is that such and such and such. And, and then you might even ask again, and what else? And what happens is you're, you are kind of pushing people to dig deeper about what's really on their mind. And you are allowing them to go beyond the first thing. And oftentimes the first thing they tell you is not the best thing. It's not the deepest thing. They have to kind of dig a little bit. So the and what else question is designed to help them dig deeper in what it is they really want to tell you. ([Time 0:16:42](https://share.snipd.com/snip/200c4e1f-aec5-43fd-b991-3caa8f0c3310)) > **Mirroring Technique** > - Repeat the last few words of what someone says to keep them talking. > - This encourages deeper engagement and encourages them to elaborate. > Transcript: > David McRaney > It reminds me of the Voss stuff, that very simple mirroring exercise where you just repeat the last three words-ish of a person's thing. Always works. Someone's like, I went to the doctor the other day and got some news. And then you just say back to them, got some news? And then they, yeah, they me, you know, I might need to look at my cholesterol. My cholesterol is getting a little high. A little high? Even when you tell someone ahead of time that's what you're about to do, it will still work. ([Time 0:19:37](https://share.snipd.com/snip/5f8e9167-7557-400d-aada-4e43349c21cd)) > **Constraint Questions** > - Use "constraint questions" to think differently. > - Add or remove a constraint and consider its impact. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > I call them constraint questions, which is, you know, the most famous constraint question would be, what if you only had 24 hours to live? You know, so the idea is you take a constraint and you either put it on or you take it off. And that becomes the question that you think about. So an example of putting the constraint on would be, you know, what if you had 24 hours to live? Taking it off would be, you know, you're trying to develop a product and you say, what if we had all the money in the world? What if what if budget was not an issue? What would we try to do and so you that's taking it off so so there's an interesting way you can use constraints either on or off to change reality just for a minute so you can think differently About something ([Time 0:36:44](https://share.snipd.com/snip/f49a82b4-16af-4e84-90f5-125b3ca3ff93)) > **Start with "Why"** > - Start with "why" questions to understand the essence of a problem. > - Then, move to "what" and "how" to find solutions. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > I sort of break it down into three types of questions that I'm really fond of. They are why questions, what if questions, and how questions. Okay, now each, they each do something different. When we're asking why, we're trying to understand something. Okay, why is it the way it is? Why did this happen? Why, why does this problem exist? When we're asking what if, we're now moving sort of to the next stage of using our imagination. Well, what if we changed it by doing this? And then when we move to how, we're getting really practical now. We're saying, well, how could we actually do that? I mean, how would we get started? So a lot of times people are more focused on how, because it's a more practical question. How am I going to change this behavior I have? Or how am I going to get better at doing this? Or how am I going to do that? It's sort of the action oriented question. So we as human beings like that, we like to get cut right to the chase. But what's so great about why questions is it's kind of the starting point. And it kind of helps you to understand something, understand how it came about, what's the context of it. So I say to people that it's really good to start with why. When you have any kind of a problem, any kind of an issue, you're trying to figure something out, start with why questions because that will help you get to the essence of the issue. And then you can move on to, okay, well, how, what, what could I do differently? Or how, how would I go about changing that? But why is, to me, it's the great understanding question. It's, it's the tool you use. It's like a shovel. You can, you can use it to dig, right? ([Time 0:43:26](https://share.snipd.com/snip/233b8d99-9bfb-43f5-9e36-70689123695c)) > **Polaroid Origin Story** > - Edwin Land, the founder of Polaroid, was inspired to create the instant camera by his three-year-old daughter. > - She simply asked, "Why do we have to wait for the picture?" > Transcript: > Warren Berger > Which was created back in the 1940s, a tremendous product. It was like the iPhone of its time, right? It just changed everything. So it all started when the founder of Polaroid is on vacation with his three-year daughter. And he's taking a picture with a standard camera at the time. He then puts the camera away and they keep walking. He keeps walking with his daughter and she asks him, can I see the picture you took? And he says, no, no, you can't. You know, we have to send it out. It's a whole process. We have to send it out to be developed, the film, and then we'll get it back. And, you know, in a few days you'll see the picture. And she asked him, why do we have to wait for the picture? So Edwin Land, the founder of Polaroid, said that question was like, it was like a mind blower for him. It's like, it completely changed. It shifted his thinking because it made him step back and say, you know, yeah, wait a minute. Why do we have to wait? I mean, wouldn't it be amazing if you could take a picture and see the results right away? And then he sets about going to work on the polar instant camera, and then eventually it becomes a reality. But, you know, it's that why question at the beginning, which can come from anywhere. It can come from a naive outsider. And it's just asking, you know, why does this situation exist? It's not what we want. It's not ideal. Why are we putting up with it? > David McRaney > Connective inquiry. I love that term. It's a what if question. I'm looking at my notes here. I think it was something like if you cross the river here, not here. And so you're asking why, because, well, it's too deep in this section of the river. And the question is, well, what if we build a bridge? But also, I love your example of an alarm clock with wheels. There's a way you get there. So if you could just talk about what if questions. > Warren Berger > Yeah, so if you think about how new things come into the world, it's sort of like nothing gets created from scratch, right? So everything is kind of out, the parts and the pieces are already out there already. So if you're going to come up with a new form of music, you're probably going to be connecting something from existing form of music with something from that form and just putting it together In a new way. That's the idea behind connective inquiry. There was also a term for this that was used by a designer. And of course, Einstein talked about this a lot, too. But it's like combinations. This designer talked about smart recombinations. You're taking things that already exist, you're putting them together in new ways. And that's how most of creativity happens. ([Time 0:48:36](https://share.snipd.com/snip/426e19a7-1d33-4563-980b-7e6f52883cff)) > **Questioning for Brainstorming** > - Start brainstorming with imaginative "what if" questions to explore possibilities freely. > - Transition to practical "how" questions to implement ideas after the creative phase. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > So basically, you know, what if questions sort of allow you to do this kind of combining. You can say, what if I combine this with that? What if I try this? And that's why I think of what if questions as being the questions that free up our imagination. Those are the questions that allow us to experiment and do all kinds of blue sky, creative thinking. We don't want to be practical at that point. We want to ask, what if we try, what if we try all this crazy stuff? At some point, you will have to, you know, get to the how, you know, how are we going to actually do it? But, you know, it's a really great tool for this kind of wide open brainstorming or question storming kind of thinking. ([Time 0:51:45](https://share.snipd.com/snip/0346fb16-ba84-4a2c-bd7a-2649e40fecea)) > **Four-Year-Olds: Questioning Apex** > - Four-year-old girls, in particular, reach a peak in questioning, asking around 390 questions daily, mostly directed at their mothers. > - This intense questioning period declines rapidly as children enter school, raising questions about the impact of formal education on curiosity. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > Yeah, it's pretty fascinating. One of the interesting things I found was one study seemed to arrive at the four-year girl, very specific, the four-year girl as the ultimate questioner. So that's when the questioning hits some kind of an amazing peak point of, you know, 390 questions a day or something like that. Most of them directed at her mother. And boys are not far behind. That four-year period is really intense. It continues into five and six. And then it seems to, by some studies, it seems to go down pretty rapidly. And that's interesting. Like, why is that decline? Why is that rapid decline happening? Because it coincides with kids going to school. ([Time 0:54:26](https://share.snipd.com/snip/8d077ae9-c27d-4600-9a59-f13e26a0b05e)) > **Questioning Decline in School** > - Children's questioning declines rapidly after starting school, possibly due to the unfamiliar environment and the emphasis on answers over questions. > - Teachers are working on reversing this decline to keep children's natural curiosity alive. > Transcript: > Warren Berger > And then there's just, you know, sort of the feedback or the sense that kids may be getting from school, that it's the answers that matter, not the questions. So the only thing you get rewarded for in school is having the answers. You don't get rewarded for asking a question. And in fact, sometimes asking a question is almost seen as like an annoyance, right? Like, we don't have time for that right now. We have to move on. We have a lot of material to cover. Or you might be told that question's like a little off topic, right? So kids pick up that message that, you know, questioning is not necessarily welcome and you're not going to get too much for it. Over time. And that's one of the big things that, you know, that teachers are working on. And I talk to them a lot about this. How can we reverse that or stop that decline from happening? That situation where, as one education writer described it, children enter school as question marks, they leave as periods. So we don't want that to happen. And so how do we keep the questioning alive? And a lot of it has to do with the environment they create in the classroom. Does it stimulate curiosity? Do kids feel safe questioning? Can you create activities and exercises where the whole point is to ask questions instead of having the answer? Can you design this kind of an environment in a classroom? And if you can, then I think you increase the chances that, you know, students will ask more questions. 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