# 484 - Compersion Is a Spectrum With Dr. Marie Thouin
URL:: https://share.snipd.com/episode/5148495b-21a4-4b6b-adda-29075fd82056
Author:: Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships
## AI-Generated Summary
None
## Highlights
> **Compersion is Multifaceted**
> - Compersion isn't just an emotion.
> - It encompasses positive thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes related to a partner's other relationships.
> Transcript:
> Speaker 1
> Compression is not only an emotion, it can also be attitudes, thoughts and behaviors. And so we broke down the definition into three. The first one was the broad range of positive emotions that one might feel in regards to their partner's other intimate relationships. The second one was the broad range of positive thoughts, positive behaviors, and positive attitudes that someone might feel in relation to their partners or their relationships. And then we added a third definition to cover kind of the general terrain. So it was the broad range of positive emotions, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors that we might feel in relationship to our loved ones, gratifying experience in any context. ([Time 0:04:36](https://share.snipd.com/snip/f4b5b148-ccca-4d19-b589-e627c5e70190))
> **Compersion as a Flashlight**
> - Don't use compersion as a stick to beat yourself or your partner with for not feeling it.
> - Instead, use compersion as a flashlight to illuminate what's happening in yourself and your relationships.
> Transcript:
> Speaker 1
> So I often say don't use Compersion as a stick, use it as a flashlight. And what I mean by that is don't use it as a stick to beat yourself with or beat your partners with as like, oh, you don't have Compersion or I don't have Compersion, I'm a bad person, or you're A bad person. But when we use it as a flashlight to eliminate what is going on for us, and for our relationships, it can be super helpful. And you the lack of compression also or the absence of compression as this tool to really reflect about, are my needs not being met in this relationship? Or are my personal needs not being met? ([Time 0:14:30](https://share.snipd.com/snip/945394a4-7c8e-4579-be81-e34c455a4cd4))