# You Can Be Right, or You Can Be Married. ![rw-book-cover](https://wsrv.nl/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmegaphone.imgix.net%2Fpodcasts%2Fdd65f90e-de0e-11e9-8b0b-87cd49a18ce9%2Fimage%2FVPMN_WhereShouldWeBegin_1_1__2_.png%3Fixlib%3Drails-4.3.1%26max-w%3D3000%26max-h%3D3000%26fit%3Dcrop%26auto%3Dformat%2Ccompress&w=100&h=100) URL:: https://share.snipd.com/episode/18b2b6f9-05e8-4a05-98ca-632e4f18e989 Author:: Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ## Highlights > Episode AI notes > 1. Feelings of unworthiness can lead individuals to seek validation through being needed by others, as a substitute for receiving love. This can manifest in taking on the role of rescuer or caretaker for someone in distress, using their rehabilitation as a means to establish their own sense of worthiness. > 2. Love can be replaced with a need for validation > 3. Desperation and desolation can lead to seeking rescue > 4. Finding worthiness through rescuing others > 5. Having a rehabilitation project as a form of purpose ([Time 0:00:00](https://share.snipd.com/episode-takeaways/6a53d19b-6f9e-478f-868c-c02e310d56d4)) > Sometimes when a person doesn't feel worthy of love they replace love with being needed > Summary: > Feelings of unworthiness can lead individuals to seek validation through being needed by others, as a substitute for receiving love. This can manifest in taking on the role of rescuer or caretaker for someone in distress, using their rehabilitation as a means to establish their own sense of worthiness. > Transcript: > Speaker 1 > Sometimes when a person doesn't feel worthy of love they replace love with being needed. If he can't be loved I will be needed and so she found him at a moment when he was desperate and desolate and as long as she could rescue him she felt worthy. She had a project and the project was the rehabilitation of him. ([Time 0:11:39](https://share.snipd.com/snip/34c40811-c427-409e-921c-bca85d428e48)) --- Title: You Can Be Right, or You Can Be Married. Author: Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Tags: readwise, podcasts date: 2024-01-30 --- # You Can Be Right, or You Can Be Married. ![rw-book-cover](https://wsrv.nl/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmegaphone.imgix.net%2Fpodcasts%2Fdd65f90e-de0e-11e9-8b0b-87cd49a18ce9%2Fimage%2FVPMN_WhereShouldWeBegin_1_1__2_.png%3Fixlib%3Drails-4.3.1%26max-w%3D3000%26max-h%3D3000%26fit%3Dcrop%26auto%3Dformat%2Ccompress&w=100&h=100) URL:: https://share.snipd.com/episode/18b2b6f9-05e8-4a05-98ca-632e4f18e989 Author:: Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ## AI-Generated Summary None ## Highlights > Episode AI notes > 1. Feelings of unworthiness can lead individuals to seek validation through being needed by others, as a substitute for receiving love. This can manifest in taking on the role of rescuer or caretaker for someone in distress, using their rehabilitation as a means to establish their own sense of worthiness. > 2. Love can be replaced with a need for validation > 3. Desperation and desolation can lead to seeking rescue > 4. Finding worthiness through rescuing others > 5. Having a rehabilitation project as a form of purpose ([Time 0:00:00](https://share.snipd.com/episode-takeaways/6a53d19b-6f9e-478f-868c-c02e310d56d4)) > Sometimes when a person doesn't feel worthy of love they replace love with being needed > Summary: > Feelings of unworthiness can lead individuals to seek validation through being needed by others, as a substitute for receiving love. This can manifest in taking on the role of rescuer or caretaker for someone in distress, using their rehabilitation as a means to establish their own sense of worthiness. > Transcript: > Speaker 1 > Sometimes when a person doesn't feel worthy of love they replace love with being needed. If he can't be loved I will be needed and so she found him at a moment when he was desperate and desolate and as long as she could rescue him she felt worthy. She had a project and the project was the rehabilitation of him. ([Time 0:11:39](https://share.snipd.com/snip/34c40811-c427-409e-921c-bca85d428e48))